so it's been almost a year since i last met chenlin.
but as for andy,
ayee.. countless times.
then this gathering,
though without kellyn,
was the next outing after a year since we left w46 after our PRCP.


had our lunch cum tea at cozy cafe @ PS.
woah.. i finally managed to dine in there.
like i always wanted but for don't know what reason,
i never step into the rest. before.


proceeded watching 'Sex and The City 2'.
oh hell,
we laughed so hard.
and again i missed the part 1,
and i'm so going to watch it online.
it's really really nice movie.
so bitchy.
so wild.
so much so that i just can't stop laughing...


then travelling all the way to bedok to sing.
sang for exactly 3hrs.
and i couldn't believe a sick person
can still managed most song without going off key.
but the last few songs,
my voice give way.
ohh... i give it all,
and both of them laugh at my airy off key..
T_T
we ended our day with a supper of porridge and hokkein mee.
i ate only porridge due to my illness.
and for once i went out with these people
i homed after midnight.


nice day out.
and i can't wait to recover from my sexy voice now.
it's sounded quite bapok-ish..
oh my...

many people used to ask me this question:
if you saw someone fainted at the roadside,
and being a nurse,
will you go forward to help the person?'


my answer will always be,
'why must i? i'm already off duty!!'


but ytd while on my way to clinic,
i literally saw a woman lying on the floor,
at the ramp near the bus stop.
everyone crowded her,
but no one seems to be helping her.
there were passerby from aunties back from market,
woman bring kids to school,
older aunties uncles sitting at void deck chatting.
then one uncle pitched,
'aiya she's(the woman lying on the floor) just having asthma.
a while later she'll be alright.'


initially i stand aside watching,
just like what the passerby did.
but upon hearing what that uncle said,
i know asthma is something that can kill a person if not treated on time.


i went forward.
managed to see the chest rises and falls.
there's breathing.
then i knelt down checking her pulse,
present.
and the next moment,
she grabbed hold of my wrist..
and managed to open her eyes.
and then closed.
then eyes open again.


next, something weird that happened that makes me felt so really weird.
she sit up,
and laid back on the floor.
but it was intentional.
it was not like there was an impact of loud thud when she laid back.
or neither was it lying back without control.
her eyes was not focusing when she looked at me.
i knew she could see something because she grabbed her phone,
and kept it beside her.
she then laid laterally.
which i felt really weird.


when my bus arrived,
i saw her standing up.
and i left her boarding the bus.
knowing the malay man who called the ambulance earlier on was with her.
i left the scene with a conclusion.


concluded that she is having some mental disorder.
yes, the way the eyes doesn't focus,
and the intention of sleeping on the floor,
and her posture,
was so much proven she was alright.
she did not throw any fits.
she really seemed ok.
maybe just wanting attention.
but from my assessment,
she's fine.


it was quite a funny experience for me
because when everyone asked me that question
whether i will go forward saving people,
i really don't know how to answer.
but now i knew my answer.
i know what i will do when that really happens...

pheeeeew!!
i did not receive that call
that can make a person devastated and dread!!


ok after the ICA exam,
we were told that if we fail,
within a week,
you will received a call from the instructor
notifying your failure.


so it's been a week.
and i have not receive any!!!
cool shit.
first time pass...
cool shit. damn cool shit...
YAY!!!
happy!!
cause it was a last min preparation for me.
and congrats to er, MJ, xiaofeng, Sri and everyone.
haha... we all made it..
let's toss our drinks!!
:)


but then again,
it means i'm 'certified' working at ICA.
:(
:(
:(

seemed like i just had to work and work and work.
but the thought about the one day trip to malacca,
that's happening on 12 june,
and going with my colleague,
makes me super excited.


and the fact that i've booked my last slot of AL,
on coming august,
because there were a planned of 4days down to penang.
i just can't wait to leave s'pore.
a place where my roots were.
the roots to everything.
then when i'm away,
i can then let go thinking about anything,
and RELAX myself.
i jusssssst need a breather!!


you know,
sometimes you just work your month off,
and when you think back how much time had pass you by,
you realised you just need a break to slow things down.
so that was exactly how im feeling...
the desperation to travel...
:D

feeling pretty empty in s'pore.
the fact that there isn't much place for fun.
he discovered this area last year,
and on our 30th,
he brought me here for viewing...



Marina country club.
it is located at punggol end.



the pier...

(You are encouraged not to read it if you dislike long post. This post is really gonna very long.)



it all started off nine years back. while both innocence met and became good friends. we share about idols, talking about guys, about music. we share about everylittlething a teenage girls normally do. even about family problems. the toppest secrets. the every details, we shared. that gradually we knew so much about each other. the bond. the motivation in life. the advice sharing. the crying when we needed shoulders. the laughter. the argument. the shopping. the gossiping. the MEMORIES.

In high school, while we were mugging hard for n levels and then o's, was the toughest part of our life. we motivated each other to study. we study together. meals together. macdonald together at teck whye, taught each other. and after graduation, i made it, but you did not. you cried and i was there for you. when you dad passed on, i was there for you. when you became financially uncapable at times, i was there to help. and i have never looked down on you. when you were happy, you turned to me the first revealing and sharing the news with me. when you broke up with your ex, i was there to hear you. hear you crying the hardest while you could hardly speak. i stand with you.

it was all memories, girl. i do not understand all these moments that we've gone through was so easily affected by the tiniest incident that happened 5months ago. and now everything is beyond salvaging. this friendship is totally broken. ruined. finished. done. And this will be my last post about anything that regards you. a post that takes nine years of bonding to wreak!

i guess i have mentioned enough about the incident. i lost my dignity halfway through the incident. it's not about initiatives afterall. i dried my saliva explaining my stand, and i've vexed too much over what had happened. i guess i'm really giving up you. time could heal the scars?

if we remove the third parties found in this incident, who is at fault? if the third parties did not entered, things may never be surfaced. because even if it didn't surfaced, i have long thought of giving up. to see this incident, i see it from it's root. i was being nice to help you, saved you from your difficult times. and when i needed you, where were you? being out of reach, and? kept quiet. and? now pushing the blames on me, and felt pissed?

all and all, i had never regret knowing you. God gives me a nine years of friendship which i'm very appreciated. since the day i chose you as a friend, although i never had received any positive comments, i still stand by you. i have been ignoring all sorts of comments about people whom WE knew, because i believe you were still the one i knew since then. i understand people will change. and i accept the part you changed overtime. but i never did expect this bond could be so fragile over years.

forget about being bridesmaid, forget about anything we had promised to do together in the future. because i'm telling you that, i will never be fulfilled anymore. and this is the end. memories with you will FULLSTOP here. i am taking the words from others whom i had ignored over these years. this is not a harsh move, because i have thought over it for a month.

it had, of course, impacted me that if whatever your sis had mentioned was truthly how you feel, then i've got no say. but do forgive me if i did not greet you on streets in the future. lastly, i need you to know that you have, again, lost ANOTHER friend who sacrifies so much for you. And thanks for having this in return. Greatly Appreciated.







to my readers who are having your eyes stuck between the lines, i had made my hardest decision this year. and i've been quite affected by this incident. i learnt my lesson. and if happened that my mood was foul on you, i'm greatly sorry. and i apologised if i was being too annoying. And well, it's another leap in life.

the leap leading a life without someone whom i used to share my everything to. imagine te same thing happen to you, i believe it could never be a good position to be in. or maybe you had already encountered that in life, you would understand how i felt. so people, do appreciate your friends whom you felt sacrifies and helped you through your toughest day of your life, during the ups and downs. they are the grateful ones. cherish them... ...

for once i wished the day 19th of the month don't come.
19th is always a day that marked how far we went.
and for tomorrow,
it's our 30th month,
i wish it doesn't comes.
because i'm having my ICA exam,
which i have not much studied.


this morning revising my FB,
saw that long message,
i felt the more of giving up.
giving up on what has happened,
giving up on what i had experienced.
giving up on facing it.
giving up on explaining, even.


sometimes you were just trying to be nice,
but in someway or another,
you are blamed to be not understanding.
i always thought my stand was clear.
i thought i wasn't in the wrong.
but now that things got worst,
i was the one causing it.
so maybe next time i should be a bad-er person?
not better!


the world is like that.
and it's always those nitty gritty that creates problem.
even at work.
nitty gritty causes so SO much of trouble.
and thinking of facing those little little things,
makes me real annoyed.
but i know this time round i can't escape.
i didn't escape.
i needed my name cleared.
because i don't understand what wrong foot did i stepped.
-_-""
like i always say:
money matters spoils relation...

now my mind is no longer about work,
but the exam i'm facing in 2more days.
OMG!
it's the first time,
i handle my exams, LAST MINUTE.
i have never in my life,
so not prepared for an exam.
but well,
i was so tired after work everytime.
and i wouldn't have the mood to flip through thick notes.
and off days are mend to be enjoying,
so resulting,
i'm not prepared.


tml...
tml i'll used my off day,
to study hard.
argh!!
hate it...
:(

another off day out to sweat.
planned to cycle.
and besides the two of us,


a third company.
Chill~


and after changing his busines wear to causal...



wahhahaha... *unglam*

i wish it was not harsh on me.
i wished i wasn't the sensitive one.
i wished i wasn't being annoying.
but somehow i was being annoyed.
because i hate to mention about work during off days.
neither do i love receiving calls from workplace during my offs too.


so i dislike it when it happens on you.
then again,
there's a need for it.
what to do?
i have to endure isn't it?


but if you understand what i meant,
i just need a day when you can have yourselves whole day for me.
just like in the past.
WITHOUT distubances...
sigh...

so last night,
despite mummy at work,
sis and i went down to workplace to fetch her out for dinner.
time check: it was 9pm plus...
we brought her to swensens at BPP.