have been so tired with attachment. so many days din see him le. but on thurs, he actually came to surprise me. was working afternoon shift. went down to get one of my patient's diet. came up and saw him along the coridoor of the ward i'm working at. yesh!! my boy came to surprise me. i really din expect that he will appear. cause i got a feeling that hospital will make him reminds of his passaway granny which will make him sad. so i din expect him to turn up. AND HE DID. thanks boy for cheering me up with the royce' chocolate.

dun worry.. i will love you more than i love chocolate from now on ok?? hee..

anyway, this poor boy is sick. he fell sick. after 5day of looking after my patient, i'm looking after him. i'm going to his house later to take care of him. but guess he really had a long sleep ytd. i shall go brighten up his day... heh heh heh...

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days at work gonna be different soon. [spencer left]!! ytd was his last day. he actually went to msg the bunch of us. this is his message:

" To all my dear staffs, thanks for the shift and help u guys given to me. All memory with you guys i will never forget. I love you all, thanks for the understanding when i scold you ppl. today is my last day at moviebites. bye."

omg!!! how saddening. i'm looking for another job real soon. afterall, without spencer around, we guys will go down to drain. how can he leave us??? ok, i admit i used to 'hate' him becoz of his disturbing of customers and new staff. but actually he is just trying to build rapport with the staff and he actually help we guys a lot. A LOT! now that he left us, who is there to help us? who is there to cover our shortage? who is going to call me ' sunflower'? who is going to buy old chang kee for me? who will make working at a boring place a happy and non-stop-laughter one? i really feel that his leaving, will definitely affect many ppl. sad!!! [sigh] so i must say: i'm really going to find a new job real soon. and if you guys want somemore free popcorn, get from me NOW before i quit!!!! ok? :))

[attachment period]

well, basically, my schedule are packed with attachments, sleeps, and also studies. i really dun have much time for other activity. saturday is main for going out with boy,. sunday is mend for work.
this time attachment at ward 76 is so far the best ward ever experienced. maybe bcoz the room allocated to me is at the corner and that i'm all on my own. but seriously, now that i'm already in yr 2 sem 2, i realised there's a lot of things i can do as compared to yr1 sem 2. haha...
this attachment, there's also some PRCP student who are really helpful. they guide you and help to supervise you. and sometimes i just feel that they look like a staff nurse already. i guess it's also time for me to worry when my turn comes, will i be able to be like them? [good question].

[trouble at work]

lately many things just happen at workplace. manager backstab manager. colleague being force to backstab that same manager. sigh... why like that???
it's all philiphines' fault!!!
why hire this kind of ppl...
but whatever... i was told last night, by shiyu, to have a good talk with 'papaya' this coming sunday. i dunno how things might turn out, but i seriously dun feel like talking to her. it's like i think so what if we guys talk things out? it might not settle straight away. when character is concern, it's never possible to solve it straight. well.. i only can say: if spencer were to lose this war and lose this job, i'm gonna QUIT straight away...

[family prob]

it's never going to be settled. i'm still struggling. pls dun say that i didn't try to savage things back. i tried. last night. talking to my mom. ignoring. silence. this is what i received. what the f***! whatever man... i surrender. i give up. i'm tired and sick of rejection by this kind of matter.
she still replies my msges. why just can't you talk? come on.. petty mom!!! haiz...

[relationship]

what to do? i'm having attachment. i only meet him once a week. this can kills. i'm already half dead. it's my first attachment that i'm attached at the same time. i've never been thru this kind of torture before. worse part is i know you dun like coming to hospital and that i can give up on thinking that you can pick me up from work.

so? moral of the story? having attachment is a training on how couples can tolerate the other party not being with you for 5days.] ok! this is complete CRAP]. well, i just have to stay positive. it's not that when he's not around me, i'll die. it's only the matter of how painful the heart will be, when i miss him. and thinking if he did rmb to shave his moustache. HAHAHA!!!

once again.. self struggling. down with cold war with my mom... whose fault? [not very sure]. caused by? [that ugly duckling]. every month, i have to do this. and when it's near CNY where he gets his bonus, it's worst. she was so afraid that he will give the money to that china gal. results of it: asking me to chase him for money.

does she ever thought of my feelings? making your own daughter like a loanshark, chasing him for money. why is it always money? is it only money that brings good life? why? this issue has really made me wanna move out and live alone by myself. but i know i cant. once i leave, that's it. but what can i do? i'm stuck in this situation for years.. it's really yrs. more than 5yrs. how long must i tolerate? when will my life been having a bit of peace. i need a proper home. a good family. a caring one. a comfortable one. but all i can do is: envy the ppl around me who have good family life.

can i cried out? no i cant. i dun wanna be any crybaby. i have to be strong. but i think i'm reaching almost to the limit. i'm on the verge of breaking down. why should this happen to me. i'm heart shattered. really shattered. upsetted. i'm down to the lowest. just hoping everynight staying late night outside. not wanting to reach home and face prob. i wanna escape. but how long can i run away till? i cannot show this emotional out. i must hang on.

tonight i'm working. till midnight. whether or not boyboy coming to find me, i'm going to wander along orchard. i just dun want to go home. really... go anywhere, but not H O M E-- my scattered home.

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time flies. i've ended my yr2 sem 2. now waiting for attachment and waiting for exams to come.
attachment on coming monday. posted to ward 76--SGH. really hope that this ward will be a pleasant one.. anyway, hope the CI in this ward is nice, hope that i can get into male ward( male are simply easier to manage), and hope that i am not working with any of the evils...
other than that, hope there isnt too much of 'last office' to be done. whatever it is... all the best to my attachment.

this few days, have been very fruitful. went shopping and really bought quite a lot of stuff. got a total of 3tees and 2shoes. one of the shoes is this:

[my black-red-yellow everlast!]

i finally got it.. yeah!!! ok, i'm just attracted to the striking E that is on both side of the shoes and the color contrast of it. omg... it's nice nice.. cost me $55. my pocket is burning..

anyway i got myself a pumps heel. that shall be part of my new yr clothes preparation. these few days will be on shopping spree. must buy more new clothes to prepare for new yr!!! CNY i mean.

i wanna shout this: i dun think i've change. she's the one who has change so much. and she is drifting further and further from me! pls return it back to me! SIGH!!! who can hear me out?

i'm done with one module. yup.. i just had my exam--elective( clinical trial). it's a quite interesting module afterall. at least it was easy to understand. after the exams, well, i guess i can get at least a B. haha... not overconfident. but because this is an open book test, and a section of question where all answer are 'TRUE' makes me feels that the paper is just easy. haha.. so i've completed this module. no more elective modules in my entire life!!!

i've just done with modules evaluations. well, i have commented on that irritating lecturer call 'Catherine'. well, she just irritates me and many of us. so i guess she won't really receive much compliments anyway. whatever.. i think she really dun suit being a lecturer. reading off ppt slides without explaining. telling us things like 'these are easy to understand, read it yourself'. if it's so easy like what you say, den why do we need you at the first place? sometimes, ppl just never think before they speaks and too tactless to hurt ppl's feelings.

anyway, i really enjoy the moments of spending time with my mom. with her injured leg, she can hardly do tough chores, and make herself busy like a bull. i dunno why sometimes she just loves making herself stress up with home chores. maybe she just wanna give us a comfortable home. well, these days the market trip with her felt so different. really.. we are strollng to market. strolling is a very relexing exercise, i must say. and these few days, we have been strolling and having nice chats like sisters. really enjoy this kinda thing. (something negative must always happens before we learn to enjoy it. and afterall, these negative things will turns out positive)

[ i realised i had a long post. i shall stop here]--this is not compo writing...

my boy failed his liscence, again.
my mom sprained her leg after falling from stairs.
friends are having problem in between.
friends recover from break-ups and found someone they like again
friends got attached.
friends quarrel with boyfriend.
me? flu still persist and leading to coughing.

so much of things happen in short period of time.
lifes like that, ALL the time.
for me, i'm mugging hard for whatever i have.
friendship, schoolwork, family, relationship, [everything].

got my elective results today. i got a C+. tml will be the second part of the exam. hopefully can aim for at least b. stayed in school and having some more practises of CPR. i must really say this, the no. of time i 'kiss' the dummy is more than i kiss my boyboy lor..my god.. can see how much i have practise. it's killing me. breathless.
i'm feeling so breathless after coughing already. but no choice! in order to pass out in yr3, i need this cert.i'm not giving up.

anyway, today i was pretty in a foul mood. dunno why. just mood swing i guess. whatever..

another day of highs and lows.
had my BCLS today. i pass the infant part.
but for the adult, i flunk the 3modules.

as for my individual presentation, i received good remarks from the lecturer.
GREAT! at least i know all my effort was well paid off.
for this week, i still have got my BCLS theory and also my elective ICA to cover.
so i'm not really done with exams.

my body. getting worse and better. worse and better. sore throat getting worse. flu is on and off.
i need an antidote! if not, i'm going to cut my throat le.. argh!! *nasty feeling*

[ i ,again, need some spices in life]

hmmm, lately there are just so many things happening to xiaowei.
i promise i will help her all the way. becoz she's my friend- 6yrs of friendship and how can i leave her alone? i guess no one understand her more than i do. that's why most blame are piling on her and that she feels bad. whatever it is, i will lend you the ears and talk more sense to you if you need, ok? gal, you sure can get your way out of this maze in life. just hang on strong and you'll be alright. believe me, believe yourself...

i met a freako last night. i even worked with him. he is just too scary that i had to call my boy to feel protected.

leslie. this weird guy at work. dont understand why ppl wanna hire him for. he is a new staff at movie bites. he behaves so weird, look so weird, acted so weird as well. freak out! he was arguing with katrina about not wanting to work counter and was scolded off by her.

what scare me off was his sudden appearing behind me, around me. what i couldnt stand abt him was he actually call me 'qin-ai-de'('dear'). OMG!!! like what da hell are you calling me that. only my boy have the rights to call me that lor. yuck!

ytd while we were abt to do closing, i jeered and took off my cap. tidy my hair. he was beside. and he suddenly told me this:" hey, i think you are very pretty." *stunned* i was shocked and acted like i never hear anything and told him, "huh? what did you just say?" and he replied "nothing!". i couldn't stand what i had just heard and walk to the washroom to avoid this FREAKO!

i really scared off by this kind of ppl. he is just someone whom will give me a bad impression of. eventually there are more incident of his irritating thingy that i'm just too annoyed to mentioned.

luckily i kept myself busy talking to boy on the phone while doing closing. if not, i guess he might tail me home. YEEEW!!! freako! i promise i will never wanna work with this kind of colleague. *PUKE*

wake up at 7.30am. realising that i only got 30mins more to prepare to school. rush my ass off from bed to wash up myself. left house by 8.10am. missed the bus. realising i forgot to buy train concession. decided to go school straight and not wasting time to interchange to get the concession. reach school by 9.03am. was 3mins late. luckily ms yong din mark alice and i absent. i was like running to school, cause ms yong is so strict on attendance.

well, we practised our BCLS. i had my trial. till i almost went out of breath. havent had my breakfast somemore. hungry. tired. breathless. sleepy. jellied-body.

having lecture and had my breakfast. was caught by the lecturer of eating during class. she ask me to go out, but i din. who will?!?! whatever. skip my bio lecture for my group meeting. we wanted to rehearse our presentation, but only realised we were on the wrong track. and that our presentation will be an hour later. we rushed off with amending the necessary thingy. and finally we were done.

after the presentation. no much comment from the lecturer. so... i am hoping everything goes on smoothly. i'm having work at lido at 3.30pm later. i'm also hoping work will goes on smoothly as well, with so much of shitty things happen this morning. SIGH!!!!

so crazy.. everyone's so crazy and havoc. during our changing shift at work ytd, all of us was like so crazy. talk nonsense, disturb ppl, disturb customers and blah blah.. fill with nonsense. radiah, and her sis- haniza, my sis and i were like disturbing that stupid papaya like no body business.

PAPAYA.. is the name we came out, talking abt that manager of ours who is just so ya-ya. the group of us plus alvin, just couldn't stand that irritating way she treats us and stuff. irritating. just heard a few stories from my sis regarding spencer. well, i can conclude that even spencer dislike her.

to some foreigners in my work place, dun think that you are a manager and you can climb as high position as spencer. he is under SHAW and you? you are just an outlet manager-- movie bites manager. pls lah.. give up hope on thinking on going up to work in the office. it's impossble for you man- filipinos!!! irritating.. shoo!!!!

back to topic: anyway, allfadzlie branja us mac and katrina branja KFC. but i din eat much. no appetite ah. during work, it's like so damn busy. but after the crowd, all of us went back to that crazy mood and joke like no one's business again.

i was like a big laughing queen there, being disturbed, throwing ice, popcorn, and rubbish. haha.. FON... just too much fun and laughter that i am enjoying on the first day of the yr2008! whoppy! great enjoyment.