i'm gonna go home late today. the scary mood-swing mum throwing tantrums again. what to do.. sigh.. i need some peace in life. small problems are mend to be small.. why make it big. chill man.. be simple. dun complicate stuff can? so irritating. dunno if there will be dinner for me today. i need some good family feeling.. why are problems neverending??

payday coming.. this wed!! i'm gonna be rich.. but for just a while. receive letter from school. school fees deducting from my bank soon. soon.. 4 digits turning 3.. i need the money. i'm surviving on my own. pls drop by me and also drop some cash.. i dun mind picking up and keep..( ok.. that sound too pathetic). whatever. earn money for eveything.

i need the world in my hands. i wanna do things my way. i want life to be smooth and trouble-less. i want all shits to be clear up before i sees them.. i want i want i want... but it's never going to happen no matter how much i tried..

... ... ...

end.

21yrs old. 19yrs of having her already. with her help and guidance, we grew up together. we share all happiness, sadness, siao-ness, sian- ness, havoc- ness... together. that's my sis. it's her birthday. 21st birthday. she finally has the key to freedom. a special key..

we are going to celebrate.. though not very grand celebration, cause she always wants it simple, so we shall suit her. she is my one and only sister. i'm very happy to have her around. she can be irritating sometimes, but she's still my sis afterall. there will be photos sharing after the celebration today.. so.. hang on..

after so much of changes she did to herself.. she got something to say..

anna is no longer that gal who is always so tom-boy, so dunno how to dress up, so not feminine...

she try to change as much as possible.

now, she has cut down on wearing what she loves wearing. the casual look..

but the character rooting in her will never change.

she's no bitch. nor bimbo.

she's just an ordinary simple girl, who wanna looks good. ( just like many girls)

she wanna change her outlook.

she wanna be who she is, still. and live a better life.

what she wants is simple: be who she is, and looking good... ... ...

it's been a lot of changes i made this 3weeks.. seriously.. a lot. from a girl who loves wearing quaters and tees to someone who wants to wear nice clothes, look nice nice and be feminine. ok.. it's me..

basically.. i had enough naggings from my buddies asking me to be more feminine, to wear dress when i meet them, grow long hair, stop the 'tee- quaters- shoes' of dressing up. and with the great help from my sis and alice.. i'm finally changing.. hopefully to the better. actually i have receive good comments from my fellow friends. and even ppl whom i'm not very close to.. i'm seriously very happy to hear that. it shows that effort have not been wasted. but hope i'm not over-doing it.

ytd, i went all the way to make my contact lens. ok.. i'm so scared to put the rubbery thingy into my eyes. i will always blink my eyes whenever i put eye-drop when i got sore eyes. this can be worse. well.. the aunty that help me with the contact lens really have a lot of patience. the first time putting in and taking out is really scary. but, now, it's something i have to get used to.

this morning, before i went out, i spend 15mins just to try to put the contact lens. haha... i took super long man.. omg!!

hey hey.. that's a unique gathering.. xiao wei join us for shopping ytd.. haha.. two of my good buddies-- alice and xiao wei. we went bugis ytd.. hmmm.. shop for clothings and shoes. but we couldn't find any nice shoes.. these days is so difficult to find nice matching shoes.. sigh.. i need a heels.. no heels, wedge also can. haha..

anyway, went MUJI and i got myself a pen that alice and i have been looking for long.. haha.. fianlly gt it. anyway, i bought the milk tea that alice always say "very nice!!". indeed!! it taste cool.. haha..

ok.. can see that this post of mine is very messy... cause i'm doing research and blogging at the same time. ok la.. time for lecture liao..

last but not least, CONTACT LENS for me today...

next up on my movies plan.. i wanna watch:
- hunting and gathering( a french movie)
- the national treasure
- BEE movie
- (more to come)

went to school an hour earlier today. planned to go computer lab to look for VOD regarding the physical assessment. but then, so irritating la.. went there and only realised that i can't go in. got gateway error. gosh.. irritating. whatever.. so bored now that's why i'm blogging now.

well.. i seriously very keen in going to the thailang( chiangmai) trip!!! it's kinda organised by our school. and heard that it's a 3 week program. go there for voluntary work. forms taken. particulars written. submitting them soon. and i really hope that i can get it. cause i think they are picking and the entries are limited. so... hmmm.. i really really wanna go!! mummy allows too.. so have to pray hard to be chosen.. i really need this trip.

it's been sooooooooooooooooooooo long since i last went oversea man!!! ( counting the numbers of 'O', you'll know how long i haven been oversea liao..)

heh heh.. the second week of school. well.. havoc.. as usual.. eveyone started talking lame and crapping around.. cooll.. that's what our class are capable of.. in studies too..

well... had learn abt injections. complicated man.. well.. scary.. i used to hate needles. now i'm being force handling them. worse still.. they are the compulsory skills for exams. so? what to do? i have to love needles. *yucks!!* anyway, this semester, we are touching on kids.. meaning pediatrics.. dealing with kids and stuff.

this morning, our lecturer show us on a girl, who had fits.. omg.. the moment i see that video.. i can't stand watching it.. it's like the gal is suffering. but yet for this kind of sudden reaction, you can't do anything but wait for the fits to stop. normally takes up to 5-10mins. it's so gross.. i seriously must mention this: i can't stand seeing kids with tubings inserted all around and also suffering in a way.. omg.. the scene can just make me cry out.. i just cant stand watching those torturing illness that they have to suffer.. gosh... no way!!

ok.. no more on kids. well.. this week, i'm not working much.. so? shopping plans for alice and i.. yuppy!! plan to go BUGIS after school on wed. and go hougang make my contact lens on thurs.. hoppy!! cool.. also.. desiree have plan to ask all of us to wear dress on next wed.. wonder how that scene would be.. hmm.. i'm so scared to wear dress.. omg!! but i shall try.. challenge myself.. omg!!! ewww!!!

busy busy... must work hard.. i'm actually in school an hour earlier just to do some sch work... this sem gonna be tough and i must make sure that i am going to pass all the modules. no supp paper as well for this sem.. no way! sounds stressful right? that's what school lifes can be.. what to do? face it or escape lor.. no more skipping class this sem. more of paying attention in this sem. more revising when i reach home. i must be a nerd..A NERD!!! haha

ok.. start school already.. today is like the 4th day since school starts. well..one comment: STRESS. i can feel the feeling of stress-ness roaming.. ok.. i'm currently schooling and working. my schedules are pretty tight. i dun have time for much entertainments. so.. ya.. lifes gonna be boring..

some incident to share.. well, seems like the flies are still so very irritating.. kiasu over lecture hall seats and stuff. dots.. still the same.. but dunno why this sem suddenly so enthu.. whatever.. dun mess with alice and i and better dun provoke us.. we both will flick you and you will be gone.. dead.. forever!!! pui!!! think i care??

this sem, many modules are what many lecturer says as 'THIS MODULE IS EASY TO FAIL'. so it's like quite pressurising. but also a motivation to attend classes, not skipping them and revise them when i go home. i'm training to do that now. the CHIM-ness includes our clinical. well.. we are learning injectons now. and also CPR in the future. loaded.. loaded.. ICA presentation is in 4weeks time...

ok.. talking abt this clinical here.. i wanna vent this anger her.. i can't stand ms yong li ping.. irritating. naggy. (lots of bad word). anyway, i'm really sad that she's my clinical teacher. she just dun understand students and what students are facing. pls lor.. u were once a student too. you shd know how i feel...!!! it's like ok.. i'm busy with work and studies now.. priorties is of course study. BUT does that mean i am going to stop working?? i'm already cutting down on the days i'm working! if only 'hot mama' is our clinical teacher. she understand students these days. i really admire her.. anyway.. that irritating shit still say,' you are now studying. you shd know which is more impt.. school or work? prioritise your work...'

f*** you la.. what my sis says is absolute true... if i din work, where do i get all the money to attend school and come to this class.. if i got no money, where you get ur salary? where you get all the facilities in school?

i'm chilling now.. dun wanna spoil my mood and make my blood pressure rise by being mad at her.. NOT WORTH IT! well.. i dunno how i will face her and react to her.. but i hope she won't provoke me with her blunt comments again. if not i'm gonna complain... (irritating...)

well.. this week i haven been seeing that irritating spencer. phew!!! ( calling him PENCIL..) anyway, we got this irritating manager also. she's from phllipines. she's katrina. just came in for a few weeks only.. so... she's new..

well.. she always like to catch attention in front of us, and like to act cute in front of us.. so like... dot dot dot.. well, previous philipine manager was being sacked. and the reason is everyone there dun like to work with her. she goes everything by book. and she got sacked the 2week my sis and i started working there. so maybe katrina scared that same thing will happen to her, so she act as if she's so nice to everyone.. eee... so fake.. bth!! anyway, these days, i've started to work with many new ppl. most of them are nice and helpful too.. hazim is the cutest.. omg.. just can't stand all the crap and jokes that he made while we are working. full of nonsence..

well.. working life is pretty tiring.. but i just need more money for myself and for the family.. not forgetting, for the school as well.. i need to save more money for coming school fees and future. so i need to work.. i really do..

ytd, i'm working at lido with my sis. but i went down to town myself. needa help that brother of mine to buy cd and barang barang.. and my sis went to her friend's house before going to work. after getting the cd from HMV, i receive a call.. from spencer. (shit! anything from him might not be a good thing).

indeed! it's bad news. that is: one of our colleague who is suppose to work at cck branch, sprained her foot and guess what? i needa go back to cck to replace her!! what the f***!!! argh!!! so i have to bring all the cds, and barang barang to lot 1 and ask my mom to collect from my work place.. my bro is just troublesome enough, here comes another.

worst part: i'm unable to claim my transport fare!! cause it's not during my working hours! F*** ah.. whatever lah.. well, at least at lot 1 it's pretty quiet. i earn 80bucks ytd for sitting down and slacking and sms-ing friends.. haha.. good money.. kee-hee...

school days are back soon. getting prepare to receive projects, tutorial, practicals, clinical, exams and crap. all that equals to STRESS. but before that happens, i'm going to take things slow and easy. i'm not going to stress myself in this sem. provided i'm gonna work and sch together. so.. hmmm... i need some stress management program. before that, i need some massages to my whole body. especially to that pin-poking feet that was felt all the time when i stand long hours. i'm not going to get deep vein thrombosis. it kills... scary..

i need to suntanning as well. i need some spice in life.. maybe having a guy might be spicy!!( with the push by alice, i think time for BF).

anyway, ytd i receive a letter from the national heart centre. erm.. they asking for bonds. it's like after getting bonded, i'll be train and specialise in heart. so.. after long long consideration, i think i'm not signing.. my main goal in nursing is still getting to OTs. well, i just hope that i won't regret for not signing it. it quite a good offer. alice is like 80% confirm signing. it's quite sad to me.. but, hey gal.. it's alright.. we both looking for different aspect in nursing. eeeww... sad de leh.. ok la.. anything.. i'm still going to temple one day and ask god for a decision. anyway, my mom and sis oppose to me signing the bond. so i'm like 80% confirm not signing..

ok.. i'm back from my attachment.. purposely wanna wait till now den start my blog.. anyway, yeah!! free from attachment now.. freedom.. ( but before the real freedom starts, another long way of school begins)...

at obestatric is like.. omg...!!! endless comments and stuff. seen lots of things. really eye-opening to me!!! well.. at first went to some consultation room where doctors will do ultrasound and stuff to scan for baby in mother's womb. den i went to the NURSERY!! where all the babies are kept! well.. i got my assessment, and that is showering the babies. u know, babies are so fragile and like i'm so rough? just so scared that i will hurt them.. but in the end, i did a great job. buahaha.. i like feeding baby.. thay are just tooo cute and adorable. anyway, i will always rmb the incident: when i carry the baby, she tot i'm her mom and she ended up sucking my breast!!! wth!!!

we got a chance to go to labour ward and see babies get delivers. i can say that, bearing a baby is hard time. having them out, is even worst. now i understand why most mothers dotes the kids. i see the mom push the baby out, i even got he urge to push as well.. can see her expression.. the pain is unbearable. but the moment i see the baby come out from the vagina, it's like.. fill of happiness and congrats to the mother. however the whole process is super duper scary, painful, disgusting... ... the only comment i have is: i'm not going to bear a child. i'm not gatting pregnant in future!!!!

next, we went to the normal gynae wards, seeing mothers recover and stuff. there are cases of complications of the birth and stuff.. some are a bit saddening.. so ya.. that's abt all. my 5days at baby ward..

interesting and really eye opening!!!

eww.. last day of holidays already.. no!!!! i haven yet enjoy myself fully. but ok la.. still kinda ready for school start.

this holiday, although i din went oversea, i had meet up with some long-time-no-see friends. went chalet with my own class. try to be more feminine over this holis. and also work for money. so kinda fully make used of.

it's attachment tml.. yeah.. can once again get to see all my friends. esp alice. guess we got too much gossips to catch and too much incidents to share. haha.. we are all going to pediatric ward tml.. baby ward, baby ward. haha.. will have the chance to see all the cuties. buahaha...

as for working, i'm working on sat and sun night. sat is PH!!! buahaha.. double OT pay! woo-hoo.. have been waiting for this day to come for long long time le..

went to town ytd and help my bro and myself to get few bots of vodka. went shopping too and got a flowery bag for school. that'll be my new bag.. buahaha.. eerm.. reach home and chill the vodka. at night, before watching Resident Evil 2 on channel 5, i get myself two bots of it. feeling so damn tipsy..

omg.. i'm sucha lousy drinker... it contains only 5% alcohol.. haha.. ok.. i think i dun like drinking now. i prefer wine. alcoholic... nah.. stay far from me.. ewww.. though the lime and orange vodka taste not bad.. haha..

i know he always like to tekan me, but no need like this one right??? that spencer again.. tio tekan by him ytd again.. he came and say to me, 'later if the stock you count wrongly again, then you will die'.!( then he walk away shaking his bloody backside and giving that irritating face). a few hours later, he see me standing there, then he came and talk to me.. i was like, ' can i walk away avoiding to have any kind of contact with him'. but too bad, i was not fast enough in siam-ing away.

yucks.. he is just a big annoying ass.. ytd, we had a big event. that's the sneak preview of Resident Evil: extinction. i saw quite a no. of artiste. like ric lee from dreamz fm. and also 2 familiar faces but dunno the names. the crowd was so huge and there were chefs from marriot hotel to sponcer that small party. super busy.. eventually my flow cash has got shortage.

this few days, everytime i work, got problem one.. so irritating.. my mom always tell me to relax and be calm, dun kan-jiong.. as i'm a biggest kan-jiong spider!!

well.. today i'm working night shift at lido again. my last day of the week. afterall my friday, sat and sun are free.. ok.. have to plan for outing with my gals bfore attachment comes. pls!!! mistakes no more from me!! and let today be a perfect day can??!!!

heard that today gonna be busy at lido shaw.. my sis told me someone book 3 theatres room from 7pm later. and it's gonna be super duper- work till you siao- work till u sian- work till u wanna suicide de BUSY.. *exaggerate*

i dun want to see Spencer lah.. he's so sissy.. why is he the manager.. eeee.... BTH!!! his mouth super smelly.. like to suan ppl all the time..i always kena suan by him.. argh... today's my 'revenge' day... i must help myself and my sis. join the sisters force and beat him up.. bleah.. idiot spencer.. if u r not my manager, you wont be let off so easily.. herh! pui! ( spit on him)

was talking abt this issue with my sis and now sharing my thoughts.

to me, a birthday, or rather a person's birthday, is a big thing. i dun see it as an ordinary day. it's something everyone has. yet it only happen once a year. it only depends on how everyone sees it.

maybe because my birthday falls on december, and it's easily forgotten or maybe everyone's busy with christmas. but that was a sad experience i had when im young. last time in pri sch, you can see kids giving tidbits pack in bags and distribute to everyone in class and every kids are happy. i always wanted to have that small small party in class but never had the chance. cause dec is always sch holidays.

not just that. now i grow up. big girl now. everythings can be done my way. maybe due to childhood memories, i tend to make every year of my birthday an unforgettable one. i still rmb a white furry puppy i ask my mom to buy for me for my birthday. i still have it. still rmb the pooh- piglet gui li bought for me and has a birthday song played whenever i press the tummy. i still have that watch xiao wei bought. but it turn rusty already. all the soft toys from subha and fifi. they know i loves soft toy. the day i went swensens with my family for celebrating of my birthday. the day my mom brought me to eat LOBSTER at chinatown. blah blah.. lots.. they are all memories of how unforgettable my birthday is to me..

a birthday is not just a date that u were born. it gives u a character. it's horoscope. it's just too true. i treat birthday as a big day. it's a day that signifies how old i am, how much i've grown and how i learn and cope in life for the yr. it's just a big thing.

i can never survive a year without ppl remembering when is my birthday. so when it's around the corner, get ready to hear anna reminding everyone abt her birthday on that day. haha.. well, a wishes mean a lot!! presents are not necessary. a good wish for me, is enough to fulfill me. that shows u still rmb me! but then, if you dun mind getting a gift, i dun mind accepting it.. buahaha..

pls rmb.. 21 december is.... ANNA"S BIRTHDAY!! 21.12( easy to rmb ok!!!)