i wanna have fun tonight.
i wanna sit at the back of the lorry tonight.
i wanna play boggle while at the back of the lorry tonight.
i wanna enjoy the breeze while the lorry goes into expressway tonight.
i wanna go through 'first- time' tonight.
i wanna celebrate my new year 2010 with his family tonight.
i wanna be a crazy girl tonight.
because tonight's gonna be a good good night....
2009.2010!!!!!i just got to know that every staff entitles 14days of MC each year.
and for these 9months,
i've already taken 7days so far!!!!
for people who knows me,
understand that i don't take MC unnecessary.
unless i'm really really sick.
so i din
keng those MC ok...
haven't been feeling quite well since last sat..
seen GP.
meds prescribed wasn't strong enough to kill the bacteria in me.
yesterday after prawning with boy,
i was soooooooooo not feeling right.
went to his house,
and he rubbed and massaged me.
felt better and was given some chinese meds from his mum.
and his dad drove me home after that...
this morning,
was on duty.
woke up feeling damn heaty.
stubborn to check my temperature.
so i went for a cold bath at 5am!!!!
(can you imagine that...)
went to work still.
handle two ILL patient,
and i slowly turn ill as well.
went staff clinic and consult dr.
so, i'm on MC tml again.
the weather has been pretty bad these days.
though it's chilling, and raining,
the heat after raining is the WORST!!!
seems like everyone is sick.
to those who are still ill-less and healthy,
do take good care...
ok, tomorrow's last day of 2009!!!!
(yet i'm on MC.)
i hope i'm fine to count down at night.
i know my MC tomorrow will be laughed by my senior staff.
cause she reminded me many times,
to rest at home during the past few days,
and i, still sturbbornly, didnt...
shall really be a good girl,
rest at home.
and only go to places nearby...
shall i collect my passport at ICA tomorrow???
watched Alvin and The Chipmunks yesterday.
love-d the chipettes too...
they were sooooo cute.
have been collecting nice pixar movies,
though this was not from pixar,
i'm gonna have it as my collection too...
seriously i don't mind watching it again...
can't imagine how i spent my bonus.
in serious broke-ness!!
almost one month to go,
and i'm thinking about my next payday already.
hurmp.....looking back at this year that is coming to an end,
browsing into my new year resolution last year,
i realised i fulfilled a lot...
back then, the things i wished to afford was:
1) buying myself a desktop- which i've managed to get
2) get whole collection of Cecilia Ahern books- which i realised not all of her novels were good.
3) get a new phone- nokia 5800- which is what i'm still currently using.
other wishes were:
1) graduate in nyp, and get a job. -that i managed to fulfill.
to be a future good nurse.- which i need more time and effort.
2) peaceful family with no fights.
so far so good. not much of conflict this year, i guess.
3) had a most wonderful bday celebration.- not so bad this year. was successful.
have logcake as a bday cake.- did not manage to...
4) more spices between me and him.- it has been very spicy this year.
5) to go for MAYDAY concert this year.-i did and even been for TWO days.
6) friends to date me more often.- yea, they did a great job by making my schedule packed almost everyday...
so all and all,
this year was pretty fruitful.
pretty great year...
i shall start thinking about my 2010 resolution...
hmm....
woke up at 8.22am.
body felt weaker than yesterday.
my head was heavy,
noes was watery.
throat was still uncomfortable.
throat was better than yesterday though.
an urge to consult doctor.
it'll be my 5th time taking MC this year.
i don't MC so often in the past.
this year didn't seem good.
still deciding whether to take MC or not.
need to spend money on medications again.
i hate swallowing pills.
very disgusting.
i'm still thinking...
to take MC or not to take.
or shall i just proceed to work in the noon..
what shd i do...
what to do...
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE...
first of all,
seasons greetings to all...
however christmas has not been very exciting for me.
remembered how i celebrate 2008 christmas at SGH.
working though.
and for this year,
it gotta be the same.
both boy and i have to work.
and it's bad seeing many people out celebrating,
while i travel down to work in my uniform...
well, it's gonna be a looooong weekend for most,
but i've already had my offs for my bday celebration.
so i'm back to work...
having no mood of christmas this year,
boy and i went town last night,
walking around aimlessly.
though aimless,
the time passes slowly...
holding each other's hand,
walking and talking and laughing non stop...
sometimes, moments like that are an enjoyment...
though it will be a working christmas today,
i know someone will appear at the gate of my workplace,
picking me up from work,
sending me home like how he ALWAYS did...
with a christmas that felt just like another ordinary day,
with him around,
it's satisfying enough...
Loves JWR,
Anna Mercier.
it's always like that.
after my birthday,
means that the year is coming to an end.
2009 is ending.
it's really ending.
it's been a fast year.
like what the adults used to say when i was much younger,
"Once you enter workforce,
you gradually WILL lost touch with time..."
i completely experienced it,
after entering workforce.
it was march since the day i start working full time.
and it seems like no BIG event happen this year,
to notify me that the year is coming to an end.
in the past all of us have exams.
and these exams signify 'end of year'.
right now,
there isn't such thing known as
'last day of working'
(unless you retire...)
it's time to recap what i've fulfilled this year,
and those not fulfilled,
will be carry forward...
it's time to think about it...
after a long preparation for this important day,
on 20.dec.2009, 10.22pm, it was marked being a SUCCESSFUL one.
greatest thanks to those who attended the party.
getting good feedbacks from it.
everyone loves the game.
and the food.
i'm glad i did not have such BIG groups,
cause i was able to attend to everyone...
thanks to essential brew- Roslee,
who planned out the day for me.
thanks to their decorations.
thanks to the oreo cookies ice cream cake.
thanks to mummy and sis for the key necklace.
thanks ray( hubby), for being with me and being my sub host of the day.
i know he had tolerated many times my anger and smelly attitude.
and was there to wipe away my tears while preparing this event.
not forgetting cheering me up when i thought of cancelling the event.
thanks to my unbreakable girls.
the group of couples + sis and ben.
weixiang. xiaotian. weiqi. eunice. MJ.
desmond. nadzira. lex. vaish.
thanks to everyone who wishes me,
on Fb, thru my phone, or even way advance...
all the gifts, wishes, plans, and effort,
were MUCH MUCH appreciated.
on 21st dec,
when i turn 21,
Anna Huang Lanyan is no longer valid.
i am officially known as Anna Mercier Rene.
deed poll was done.
with the name i want.
awaiting the day to come,
since i was 19.
a year and a half,
the day has come.
i'm glad it finally came...
more documents and procedures need to be done...
and i'm patience with that...
sometimes i don't understand how to go about dealing with things like this...
if you know that your girlfriend dislikes you doing something,
however you happen to do it,
what will you do?
tell her the truth?
or keep it from her until one day you accidentally blurt out while with your friends,
and she happened to be beside.
i am not those tell-me-everything girlfriend,
but i din know i do deserve to be treated this way...
SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-LuckyOne Good-natured optimist.
Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). --SO TRUE!!
Indulges self. Boastful.
Likes luxuries and gambling. --SO TRUE!
Social and outgoing.
Doesn't like responsibilities. --SO TRUE!
Often fantasizes. Impatient. --SO TRUE!
Fun to be around.
Having lots of friends. Flirtatious.
Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. --QUITE TRUE!
Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. VERY VERY TRUE!
Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out. --TRUE!
december. the month of events and parties.
the month that makes me grow older.
i'm glad i am going to spend my last few days of age 20 with parties.
there's always a disadvantage to have parties in december...
many parties and birthday celebrations will be happening at the same time.
everyone turns busy.
everyone turns out BROKE.
i'm glad for this year,
my bonus came in by december.
and tomorrow will be it.
tonight, 12 am!
anna will once again, be RICH.
the birthday gift i got for myself this 21st:
deed poll, new IC, new passport.a symbol of freedom.
a sign of independent.
last few days of being a teen.
last few days of being known as 'Anna Huang Lanyan'.
go ahead, call me
huang lanyan the more you want.
after 21st,
Anna Mercier Rene is official.
i'm excited about all this...
pressure has been pushing me quite a lot these days.
have been thinking a lot as well.
the position i am right now,
can be described as a stalk of lallang leaf.
wind are cause by pressures.
high blowing to low areas,
and that's how we get WIND.
i was in such pressured-area that i was being pushed hard to my limits.
till i have to force out an alternative myself.
i am just like a lallang,
the pressure pushed me hard,
there i go,
being blown around,
being lost,
having to search for another area to settle myself,
and start life all over again.
where is the girl who put in so much effort in achieving her passion, her dreams.
so is this 'dream' still a dream she has now?
i doubt so.
i was naive.
naive dreaming about how to get to my dreams,
however not thinking about the consequences,
or rather what i would face along achieving this dream, this passion.
where is the motivation?
motivation achieving dreams.
are dreams always happy endings?
are dreams just dreams?
are dreams never come real?
if ever i could start my choice all over again,
i will not choose what i've picked.
not because i regret.
because i din expect it to be the way it was.
then again,
i might repeat what i've mentioned when i choose something else back then.
life is like that.
until now,
i have little idea how long i can survive in nursing life.
really.
how long can i withold my so-called dreams.
i questioned myself too many times.
till i am sick of answering it myself.
i have lost the confidence i used to have way back.
i feel like side-tracking.
side track to something with lesser pressure.
something i know i can handle with confidence.
if only life can be lead a lil easier.
but i doubt so.
after a good lecture,
i managed my morning routine well.
but ended work only by 6pm.
and completed my 2nd RMS for the year.
it was my big fat mistake.
but i really learnt from it.
silly me,
to have made such a mistake.
it's been a tiring 4 days for me.
i've got enough.
my annual leave are coming.
birthday coming as well.
last 5days of 'childhood'.
time for adulthood.
time for less reliant.
time for more independent.
PS:
birthday wish for the year:
i wish i could have more time of my own. i needed more time for PEACE!
had a disgust sight yesterday.
one of my patient,
being a down syndrome man,
was seen eating his own sh*t.
yes, i practically seen him digging his arse,
and next moment he put it in his mouth.
i pity him, really.
i tried being synpathy,
but hmm..
and later that day,
i felt my left eye was swollen.
i applied ice pack,
but no use.
it got worse when i reach home.
so i was on MC today.
i am fit for work,
but being sunday it's hard to consult doctor at 4pm,
so i took MC instead.
and dr said that my eyelid was infected.
it was a lil swollen.
so i end up having 5days course of antibiotic,
and an eye drop to instill.
although these two incidents are not related,
but somehow i felt they were.
they say peeping at people showering,
will get 'zhen yan'- a pimple growth at the side of eye.
and i guess maybe i saw my patient eating sh*t...
ok well, it shd be my contact lens...
so no contact lens for me for next 4days.
no make up too.
glasses allowed only.
so i think i have to bare with it for few days.
wearing glasses to work...
argh... *hates*
but i've got no choice.
but anyway,
after consulting dr,
my head was spinning.
felt feverish.
felt migrain.
popped panadol twiced.
not much of help though..
alright,
morning shift tml.
gotta rest soon...
ciao!
2-3 years back,
i realised the beloved soft toy of mine was lost.
having grief over the matter for quite long,
and over these 2-3 years,
i found substitution.
this was hoodwink.
the hoodwink that i've lost.
that brood me over for so long.
trying to look for him again,
but he was no longer in stalls.
check out TY webby and realised he has 'retired'.
meaning the company no longer produce this baby.
then after gotta many substitutions,
i once again look into TY webby and realise HOODWINK is coming BACK!!
was shopping at ION with hubby last night.
went into 'precious moment' to look for christmas gift,
and i saw 'someone' familiar...
THE NEW HOODWINK!!!!
without any second thought,
i bought it down.
this time round,
hoodwink has grown up.
it was same size as Bungle.
previously he was pretty small size.
but he's just sooooo cute as before.
i'm really happy to own him once again.
the dearest baby monkey i wanted so badly to come back,
CAME BACK!!!
ok, enough of my monkey collections.
i went to watch 'Couple Retreats' yesterday.
ohhoo... damn funny.
yea, always mention WE and US, not ME and HIM.
but anyway,
it's an NC 16 show.
while entering,
the ticketing people actually wanted to check my IC!?!?!
i felt like telling him that 8 more days i'll be 21...
but well,
i let him check.
was in good mood,
so din wanna make his life difficult.
yes, just 8more days and i'm officially 21.
happy or sad?
hmm...
once again, friday arrives.
it's time out for some fun again.
it's finally a month.
after the course,
here comes the exam.
it's true that many people fail the paper.
and there's a re-exam if you fail.
having study pretty hard,
i'm actually quite confident in it.
just hoping that the paper won't be too tricky.
ecg exam at NHC later.
from 1130~ 1pm.
and afterall,
it's time to out for chiilax.
plans for movies:
'Couple Retreats'.
it's a comedy, again..
i'm excited to see how the story goes..
gonna have fun later,
and rush back home by 10pm
to catch my last episode of '学警处更'
i cried during the second last episode,
guess tonight i'll form a river...
wahahahah....
PS: and tonight's gonna be a good night,
and tonight's gonna be a good good night...~!
after movie with boy last night,
we went Times at PS to look for some books.
and i saw this:
flip what's inside,
and realised it was a pretty helpful book to me.
without thinking much,
i bought it straight.
i know sometime i just need to read,
or maybe sometimes i need to listen.
listen to senses convey to me.
only then will i be motivated.
as for boy,
he finishes 'Who moved my Cheese?'
and was motivated to get a book for himself.
and he came along this book:
without much consideration,
he got himself his first motivating book...
this is an interesting book.
i flipped a lil inside,
and i think he does need this book too...
meeting someone and later both became close.
this kinda relationship was always said to be Fated.
i think i met this guy right in front of me by Fate too.
it was fate that bring us together,
to go through thick and thin,
for me to guide him in life,
for him to motivate me.
if he wasn't with me,
maybe there won't be anyone who really understand my thoughts,
someone who knows my character.
and when i'm down,
someone to actually talk sense and motivate me.
it's really fated for the both of us to meet in this life.
and seriously he helped me a lot in Moving On..
without him, i'll be a stress-out crazy young lady...
well, i do have to rely on him.
because he is another affective person in my life...
read the link sis posted on shoutout.
'How to Deal With Stress'
http://www.studygs.net/stress.htmit does helps a little.
i think i need someone to actually talk sense to me.
and make me wake up from this little box that i'm struggling in.
it's gonna be his last exam paper today.
a plans for this comedy show tonight.
it's to make me laugh out loud to forget all sorrows.
and a good laugh for him to relax after exam periods..
i shall laugh out hard loud tonight.
because after tonight,
i'm back to the battlefield.
i'm going to challenge stress.
i'm boost a little...
so i'm slightly stronger than before.
everyone wants to see that smile from me...
i was defeated, again, by stress.
after two days of work,
just two days,
i knew my emotion wasn't right to work.
what is the cause?
optimist turning pessimist.
laughing person turn crying.
confidence drop to zero.
just seems like the glass of hope was shattered.
was hit by a stone,
and causing scars of cracks in life.
who can ease them?
who can change them?
i guess i'm alone.
i would very much like to cheer up,
being the happiest girl on earth,
yet i was defeated by stress.
how to manage stress?
i need to know.
how to take them as a challenge?
i need to know.
how to face them using my whole body to fight?
i need to know.
how to think positive?
i used to know,but now,
i need to know... ...
PS: my life has slowly turned into colorless...
i dislike having heavy work over weekends.
yet i was morning shift ytd.
though it's already a past,
i still feel uneased.
i really hate it especially when i'm back from long leave.
cause you know something will happen back at work,
that makes you damn busy,
and seriously just right now,
i'm feeling so sick and tired to work.
this shouldn't be the attitude, i know.
but i suddenly felt so tired to work,
even though i just had 5days off.
i need the motivation work.
i need the boost.
and these days i had been hearing bad news.
i felt like i'm at limits.
i wanna vent out that uneaseness in me.
i wanna throw out.
i am stress, again.
which i don't understand where is the source.
i need to laugh.
i need my smile.
i hate frown.
i hate n-shaped mouth....
i am depressed.
went out with moviebiters last night.
seen and touch up all the missings.
once again,
i felt the mood i have back working at theatres.
where fun and laughter were ample.
with the outing last night,
i thought it could heal my mind and soul,
but i guess it wasn't of much help.
nothing seems to help.
maybe i need to see Bungle,
maybe i need to
High with mayday,
or maybe i need that quiet stroll by the beach...
i really don't know what really helps.
a beautiful bouquet will one day die off...
what is 5 of 5?
it simply means:
55,555...
yeas!
MAYDAY is going to have a concert for 55,555 people in taiwan.
not even 55,556 or 55,554 people.
it has to be 55,555.
i know i'm sure gonna miss this concert,
but i really hope to go for their concert in taiwan.
at least once a life time.
and anyway,
these are damn cute.
how i wish i could have them...
cuteness..
indeed mayday,
the source of my smiles...
it was the end of his first exam paper,
and as promised,
we went out for some fun to relax his mind.
then we decided on:
it was raining yesterday.
weather was cold enough,
but plans carried on...
the pavement we shivered up to get the ride down.
every 2-3 slides,
we went out to get our body defrost.
it's freaking chill...
-9 degree.
i felt that my arse was numb,
my leg was numb,
my breath was visible...
after the ride,
HOT CHOCOLATE straight away..
and it really felt like Heaven...
gotten photos for our slides,
but not scanned to desktop yet.
while going out,
my slippers slipped in the middle of the road.
many cars went pass,
but it survived.
and it was the joke of our day.
then we went to jurong point for a shop.
managed to fulfill EVERYTHING we were looking for.
my birthday game pressie,
checking out our new phone,
and searching for my pressie that he's getting me.
as we walked through most sports shops,
we couldn't find any white windbreaker.
we then came across 'Link Thm'.
a store that sells sports wear from Nike, Puma and adidas.
he knows i wanted a white windbreaker so badly.
because SGH no longer supply sgh windbreakers to staff,
and you HAVE to wear white jacket to work if u need one.
and i always needed one when i'm on morning and night shift.
so as we got into Link Thm,
i saw this!
a pure white puma windbreaker!!
and eventually it now belongs to ME!
fold up nicely.
finally,
i have gotten my first 21st pressie.
it's was from that dearest person.
how nice.
thanks, boy.
now even our windbreaker are the same...
*grinned*
christmas seasons,
photos are up.
unfortunately the deco this year
wasnt as much as last year.
wasnt as innovative as last year.
though we managed to get a few of it..
-smiles to festive of chill-
the dream about Future,
is yet far to be seen.
with what is present now,
i wish i could see future.
going through all the things we've not been through,
making sure we go through successfully.
when i got tired,
he was there to help me up.
we took a short rest,
and carry on.
with the tears, laughter and crazy moments,
it makes the bond stronger.
i wish i could really see future.
the future i've dreamt for...
the future i expected things to be.
then again,
i never want to expect any higher,
cause i know it might bring us to a little disappointment.
and whether we will be able to lead a happy ending,
was part of what i hope to see, in future.
if only future is in stretching-out-my-arms-distance,
i won't have to worry.
and maybe by then i might take things for granted.
but if i'm going to fast forward this 'future',
i guess life's gonna be meaningless.
YET, i hope i can see what my future is...
i really hope...
