i have so much to memorise.
yet i can no longer squeeze anymore info.
it's seems like the 35drugs is overloading me.
tml is the test.
i need 35 correct answer out of 50 questions to pass.
can i make it?
i really hope i won't receive sis low's msg.
cause her msges means '2nd attempt'!


i need my motivator.
but he couldn't make it today.
he is stuck in work.
my 2 off days,
i din meet him.
study and study at home.
hate lifes like that.
what to do...
everything is fated la.
just face it anna.

i'm really going to spend myself to the fullest during labour day!!!

i really wanna help her.
but i know my presence isn't helping.
after 2 days, i gave up.
gave up on initiating any help.
unless she ask for it.
cause it's no point forcing her.
who am i to force her out of the blue?


seriously i feel so much for her.
and the more i hate him.
and the more i regretted it.

i regret the times i helped him.
help him to let her forgive him.
help him to talk sense to her.
help him with some tactic to pleased her.

now all these are prints of regrets
that i felt after helping 'some' ppl.
he's the most un-appreciatetive person i've ever seen.
not forgetting what he actually replied after the incident.
F*** HIM!!! i'm pissed off inside me! BAST***!



i really feels that let bygones be bygones.
the next one will be better.

it's getting hard for chance to blog these days.
so here's the lastest.

i've finally got my DREAM PHONE.
have been waiting for pay-day.
and the day after my pay is in,
my dream is fulfilled.
my nokia 5800.
even i dun understand why i wanted it so badly.
the moment i use it,
i'm hooked to it.

mom says: why are you holding the phone 24hrs?
i'm really not waiting for any calls or msges.
but a few mins after i put my phone down,
i urge to explore more inside.
ANNA IS CRAZY WITH HER PHONE!



i'm off today.
i'm off tml.
i'm off on fri.
how nice!!!!


but thurs i'm morning shift and having medication exam.
still mugging hard for it.
i need to pass them in order to be 'certified' to administer.
(i quite need some motivation though)

talking abt work,
as i'm in an isolation ward,
and due to the human-swine flu outbreak,
my ward is affected.
i'm gowning and masked every single moment when working.
it's freaking hot.
well, the outbreak have not reached spore yet.
and really hope it won't.
cause if it does,
i'm going to expect for the worst,
and that is being quarantine in the ward.
that's quite bad.
shall see how days goes...
(pls no outbreak in spore... pls nooooo....)



just heard from andy and kellyn,
none of the ex-prcp is posted to WARD 46!!!
seriously i'm happy for them.
chenlin got into O&G.(my second choice!!)
kellyn got into w54.(same as bettina!)
and andy got into rehab- w64.
soo wen got into w63-plastic.
that sounded so 'PHEW'.
all the best for them... :)

this is my 370 posts in this blog.
lately destroyer arrives to break up me and him.
i know her motives.
she never likes me and him.
it was said that me and him
'break-up' already.
in actual fact, how possible will that be?
it's true that our relationship is strong.

bringing up this relationship for 17months,
we stick tgt going thru every single hardship.
cause we have a similar goal, and that is:
to build up a long- strong relationship.
the fill with love, fill with faith,
fill with trust,
and having that with-him-i-feel-so-fortunate feeling.

tml gonna be 17th month of being with him.
it's a long journey to come so far,
but a short journey when talking abt future.
i just need my life with him around.
that's all i asked for..

boy,
happy 17th moniversary.
(you know i will never leave you...)

work
having the bloomiest flowers.
seeing the birds the butterflies
roaming around the ward.
flowers are located at the center of
20 rooms where all my patient are,
and i'll move in and out everyday.
this is something i've never expect
my working environment to be.

with the sound of water drops
hitting against the steel roof when it's raining.
and i got to nurse my patient individually.
what it says to be a holistic care.
that is more like it,
the job is very individualise...



family
bro and i- in some sort of talking terms.
sis and i- never a problem.
mom and i- persistent cold war.
DAD and i- just had our first dinner tgt after
more than 8yrs of not having a proper meal with him.


the situation has now changed.
with more understanding abt the past( times when i'm still soooo young)
i have come to realise what's happening
with the adults at home.
my parents' world.
the world of endless fight.
the not forgiving and forgetting in one party.
that's really a pity to know it's really RUIN.
i can't do any salvaging.
but to enjoy both sided love, separately.

so the outing last night.
sis and i went to kranji farm with DAD.
he drove us there.
seen the farm with havesting fruits and veg.
corns, sugar cane, dragon fruit, ... ...
entertainment like cycling, prawning, pooling is available.
even chalet is found there...
what an eye-opener.
after a big feast of clams, he drove us to his factory.
the factory that has already close down.
due to economic downturn, the boss close down the factory.
and he bring us to some backyard where he used to prawn.
and i will never forget the no. of stars i saw that night.
it's really fabulous...
and he send us home while he,
goes back to his other 'home'...

i'm awaiting for our next outing like what we had last night...

finally gotten my first SGH pay..
and i got my CCNP pay as well..
so now my bank is quite loaded.
my dream phone-- nokia 5800 is going to be mine very sooooon.
shd be somewhere this month..
^.^ ^.^ ^.^ ^.^

goodbye to m1 and hello to starhub.
i'm changing the subscriber,
and i'm retaining my number still.
and after getting my phone,
it's gonna be my desktop that's next on my list.
--------------------------------------------------

things are getting worst between us.
we dun talk now.
having the usual cold war.
forever.
now brother dun talk to her as well.
her behavior is really weird these days.
super sensitive.
but what sis says is right...
she getting old as days go by.
i have to treasure the days that she's here with me,
and not letting her disappointed or angry..
but somehow what not supposed to be done, had been done.
it's hard to twist the fate around..
so what should i do??


(i need to talk to someone...)

few days back, i saw CI catherine.
she's under my blk, with a guy, whom i suppose is her husband.
i remember she telling us that she lives at yew tee.
i approach her.
and she was shock seeing me.

catherine:hey, hi... you live here?
me: ya.. i live at level 10. you?
catherine: i'm at level 2...

(omg... she's now my neighbour!!!!) i thought.
so there's now a total of 3 SGH staff under the same roof...

-------------------------------------------------------------


it's the 3rd week already.
3rd week of foundation.
no more time to slack.
seriously i have to prepare to get on for real work.
anna, wake up. it's time to start stdy already.

i'm working in a kampong...
that's what i will tell others.
exactly, ward 11 is a kampong hut.
i'm posted to ward 11 and poor vaish is posted to 12.
so i've talk to sister koh and sister loh.
they are both sooooooooo nice and approachable.
ENs at ward 11 is very nice.
SNs still ok.
i'm trying hard to adapt to the slow pace at the ward.
it's real slow compare to main sgh building,
and compared to ward 46!!!!!
i'm actually very used to ward 46's pace.

ok, anna is intensively trying hard to learn
all sorts of dialect that she can think of...
i need to communicate well with my patient....


*i'm getting more tense up everyday...*