i have never felt so pissed in my life. i have never got so condemned before. really angry.

today a new CI came into our ward. her name is susan loh. after asking me some pathophysiology abt my patients, she brought me to a corner and start humiliating me. " if you are not interested in nursing, just leave now!" "you are not suitable to be a nurse"

last week, CI Goh told us "actually at paeds, there's nothing much you guys can do. so if you feel like you are hanging around, it's normal."

why is this 2 CI says different stuffs. one is so demanding. one is so thoughtful abt student?

CI susan, have you ever thought of how everyone deals with problem? stop putting your thoughts into ppl and expect to think like you! i must say that whatever you do today, does not make ppl respect you, ppl will not think that you're great. BUT you are scary and proud abt how good you are and too demanding that everyone hated the sight of you. you only makes us feels tough to approach you when we are trouble..

it's true that if we dun buck up, we will have tough time during PRCP. thanks for the pressurizing. BUT your approach is totally WRONG!

you said that we have learned abt psychology in school and so we must apply it during postings. but have you think it in a student aspect? how do you see a student like us then? Are we here for you to condemn? Are we here for you to 'ASSUME' us as what we are not? have you thought of the difficulty of students? you are enthu in your job, but you forgot abt how you shd present yourself as a CI! you are disappointed in me, i am so disappointed in you too.

i will prove you wrong! wait and see! Anna is not here for you to bully. mess with me? then you are asking for it.

this posting really show me the dark side of nursing. it's not just happening in my ward, but even others as well. how terrible to receive such a workplace like this? how to survive?

this is the worst posting i have ever been. how draggy can you imagine?
the ward i been to is known as the most nothing-much-to do for a student nurse. even our CI says so. we have many cases here. but it's just too hard to occupy ourselves. the sick children have their parents 24hrs with them. everyone! most of the things we can hardly do as well. i must say this attachment is worst then my polyclinic posting. after seeing so many heartache cases, i had promised myself not to ever step into KKH ever again. i feel that it's not a place suitable for me to work in and also the cases to see. it's just not for me... [every sound of cries means a drop of pain. ]

i still have 5more days to go. 5more days to end this attachment. i'm counting every day, every hour and every min to end it.

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lifes gonna be slightly different soon... my boy has finally left that boring camp and had his last day in NS 2 days ago. so which means he'll be out in working life soon. lifes gonna be really different. afterall, that's what he enjoys doing. just hope that the start of his working life doesn't signal less meeting-up.

boy, plan your future and do what you really interested in. focus on one and go straight to it. dun hesitate and turn back after you made your decision. ya? go ahead and earn money for what you wanna learn. i'll support your decision and if you need me to share your thoughts, dun feel shy ok? you know i always want to hear your heart.. :D

after 4days of attachment at KKH- ward 44( gynae), as usual, i have thoughts to share...

i saw a lot of abortion cases this time. really a lot! some are intentionally. some are due to some problem with the foetus. i must say, this is the most saddening ward/posting i have ever been to. there are lots of couples who wants to have babies. but they were unable to. but yet youngster nowadays, will choose to abort and kill the babies. how sad..

in the ward, quite a few of youngster were admitted. they have their reasons to abortion. i might not understand. but the thoughts of them killing their own baby is really cruel. patient will be given cervergem to dilate the cervix and that's when the baby 'drop'.

CI koh(sister) actually show us the corpse of the dead baby. that baby is 3mths old. being aborted. we can actually see the little fingers and 4limbs had already form. and... OMG. the scene really affected my sleep and my mood. but it's still an eye-opener for me.

was sleeping soundly at 3am when the phone besides me starts to vibrate. too sleepy to think of whichever idiot that will sms me in such late night...

this morning, look into my phone. realised that exams results had already send to my phone. i gave a quick glance to look out for any 'F'. and this is what i saw...

HS2035: D
HS2036:C+
Clinical: B
Bio Science: D+
Psychology and Sociology: D
Elective: B
Attachment: C

i cannot believe my eyes... i didn't fail any!!! yuppy!!! at last, the burden is off chest. OMG!! i have really no confidence in this sem. both henry and i felt that this sem is so tough to go thru. but both of us clear and pass all our modules. so is alice. yeah!!! we guys are all going to year 3! hurray!!!

well, it's also proving to mummy that i did not neglect my studies while having a boyfriend. hee..

五月天组团多年，除了是粉丝拥护的天团，也是媒体喜欢访问的组合。因为默契十足的5个人，接受任何访问都非常认真。
谈专辑可以认真聊音乐，上通告时，也可以认真搞爆点。这次为了宣传4月26日的新加坡演唱会“回到地球表面”，五月天虽然4缺1（石头因为小孩生病，无法前来宣传），却还是发挥‘团体精神’，让访问既有‘爆点’，又有‘料’。
几乎场场爆满的演唱会，究竟有什么样的元素可以让进场的歌迷们每每都那么high？《我报》和omy记者设计了与演唱会有关的问题，看看五月天能否透露出表演的秘诀。
怎料4个大男生，从一开始的互相‘揭秘’，到最后‘无心插柳’爆出的连场笑料，让在场的记者、摄影，甚至是五月天的助理都笑到不行！（助理小肉包居然笑得趴在地上，只差没滚出画面…）
想知道“双头龙”是什么？其威力为何能够振煞全场，一定要看vodcast！

[news from www.omy.sg]

ok.. shall post something more related myself. i've got one more week to ENJOY before attachment comes in. well, i shouldn't screw this coming week. it's gonna be a fun. it MUST be a fun week. i'm quite fully booked. i'm most looking forward to coming saturday. planned to go sentosa with my boy. we are planning to go for that 'dunno-what-ride' thingy. [wait till i went, den update again].

tml, monday. i'm watching '2faces of my GF' with boy. tues outting with my dearest battery. SO LONG neh see her. gal, i know why you wanna go out with me le, cause this attachment we are posted to different hospital and you gonna miss me right? i know...

i working 4days in a week since the day i had my holidays. so which means my next pay will be... ... ... buahahaha... [i'm rich!!!]- eyes blinking hard* BUT it's for school fees..(sian)- head looking down*

whatever!~ enjoy is all i need.

exams results are revealing soon. i'm prepared for the best. and also for the worst. yet i'm hoping for the best.

it's my boy's birthday ytd.. well, a made him choose a wallet for himself the day before. he got a pierre cardin leather wallet which look pretty cool. that cost roughly $50. i made a card and a photo frame for him too. though i didn't DIY much of it, but really hope it was something he'll love receiving.

went to his house ytd. and that's where we celebrated his birthday. fun. lots of crazy moments. eventually his sis was shocked at da way i react. [i'm just too high last night..] anyway, there are more things to be shared, but due to certain reasons, i shall kept it secret. hee...

i left his house at 9. his dad drove me back home. REALLY nice of him. greatly appreciated. cause my boy live in the east and i'm west. while in his lorry, we chatted a lot. well, sometimes i really enjoy talking to adults. they've been thru more than we do. and of course their experiences in life are more interesting. i should say that he reminds me of my dad when our family was in good condition. anyway, it's just someone whom i respect totally. ok, thoughts roamed my mind again. shall keep it to myself.

last of all, i really had a great time last night. some special experience in my life once again.

i finally had a haircut. ytd while i'm at bugis, was being picked by a guy from 'toni & guy'. he came and ask me if i have the time and would like to be a model for their students. thinking that i seriously needing the haircut, i agreed.

they brought me into the school of toni & guy. it's a place mend for students for 'toni & guy'. well, i can say, they are real strict into haircuts. i have never been there for any hair stuff. maybe next time i will try.

seriously i quite like and dislike my hair now. it's short that i can hardly tie up. it's neat and i'm able to style my hair again.

after so much fun ytd, today i'm in rush for everything. seems like 24hr for me is not yet enough. [i'm asking for more]. i really need more time. i'm still preparing SOMEONE's birthday present. i'm short of time. argh!!! well, i think i need to burn some time in the midnight le... i miss my long natural sleep. haven't been having good sleep this days. i need aromatherapy!!!

my friends came to bugis ytd to find me. the five of them came from taiwan. so nice of them to visit me... [ok.. sorry..!]

this coming saturday will be my boy's birthday... i'm still thinking what to plan for him... hmmm...[deep thoughts].

lifes's getting more peaceful each day. i'm enjoying it. exactly what i wanted. i'm right now, enjoying every little moment of it before they soon fades away. i simply loves these feeling. with that, i had decided to change my blogskin to suits the feeling.